We really wanted this move to come through. It truly seemed the best thing for us as a family and for my career. There were a lot of items in the Pro column, and we wanted those pros.
I devoted Wednesday afternoon to an intense internal temper tantrum and pity party. Thursday was spent wondering what this says about my relative value to my company. It was Friday before I could bring myself to tell extended family. And ever since, we've been trying to figure out What Comes Next.
But even on Wednesday afternoon, I was aware enough to know that this is not the end of the world. Many people I know and love are going through much, much, much worse. Seriously, this doesn't even make the list.
So, to help drive that point home, I challenged myself to come up with 10 things I am thankful for about not moving. I am writing this as I think. Let's see if I can get to 10.
1. My twins can graduate from high school with the kids they've gone to school with since preschool. I know! What kind of crazy parent moves her kids right before senior year? (The kind who thinks CA in-state tuition is a good thing.)
2. My youngest can finish elementary school with the kids he's gone to school with since kindergarten. They go on a sixth-grade trip in May and have a graduation ceremony in the evening with speeches and everything.
3. Another cross-country season. Here, as many kids as want to run can be on the cross-country team. The move would have put our kids at a much, much, much larger school. (Not hard to do.) The odds of them making the cut to be on a team were slim. I love our cross-country team, and I'm thrilled that Kid2 has another year. (Kid3 is considering not running this year.)
4. Another New England fall. Fall up here really is as amazing as the rumors say. I'm going to soak up every minute of it.
5. More time in my office. The office of this house is amazing. I know I will never have another office like it.
6. More wildlife. Although our creatures are nowhere near as tame as the deer on my parents' property (those guys are seriously blasé about humans), we've seen goshawks, turtles, bear, deer, beavers, porcupines, and owls. Not to mention all the frogs, salamanders, toads, squirrels, and chipmunks you could ever want.
7. More time to tick the last few boxes. Although it feels like we've done all the tourist things to death, due to the age spread of our kids, Kid4 either hasn't done some things or can't remember them.
8. Easier transition to driving for Kid2. We drive late on my side of the family, and so far, our kids are all taking after me. Kid2 has his permit, but not his license, and staying here for another year will give him time to develop his skills in a calm driving environment before tackling the big city.
9. Easier time zone for work. Even though the move would have put me in an office on a regular basis for the first time since 2003, I would have still spent a lot of time on the phone with people in other time zones. Eastern time works better for my natural rhythms. If I have quiet time, it's early in the morning, which is my best time for getting in the flow and working on key projects.
10. More breakfast dates with Michael. Typically, when we are both home, we go out to breakfast one morning a week. We're both morning people, and we both love breakfast food. Even though I hoped to work from home one or two days a week even after the move, breakfast dates would have been hard to schedule (see #9).
Hey! I made it. And I can think of a couple more good things about not moving this summer--like more time to declutter and finish home repair tasks before putting the house on the market, chatting with my husband in between meetings, and getting to wear comfy clothes every single day.
Again, not the Pros list I was hoping for, but I might as well try to enjoy the list Fate handed me.
5 comments:
Oh, Minda, I'm so sorry things didn't work out as you had hoped and planned. Been there. It stinks. Temper tantrum and pity party is valid, I think, under such circumstances. As long as we then pull ourselves together and figure out what's next, and you've done a lovely job of that here. I love all the positives you've listed about the way things turned out. I love the way you've turned focus to what is good about it all. I wish you and your family all the best as you move forward right where you are.
By the way, totally jealous of your wonderful office (sight unseen) because you clearly have such love for it. And your New England Autumns...sigh. My dream.
Seeing your autumn scenery will be so fun. I need to compare calendar dates with you.
Your office is beautiful, so I can certainly understand why it would be hard to leave that. I'm glad it is on your list of 10.
What an impressive list of wild animals you have. Have you been able to capture photos of them? They probably show up at times that aren't convenient to taking a photo.
In-state tuition can't be beat.
Minda, this was such an awesome example of the spirit of TToT! In the process of coming to terms with a truly big disappointment, you’ve not only managed to come up with ten things you can be thankful for, but ten legitimate thankfuls related to the staying there. WOW, way to go!!
The kids getting to complete high school/elementary school with classmates they’ve shared so many experiences with is a big plus for them, and I’m sure there were no tears about staying. There will be adventures in new places in their future! I’m a firm believer that God moves mountains, and people too when the timing is right. There must be something even better in the works for your family! Getting to practice driving skills in a calmer environment is great, it means less prematurely gray hair for Mom!
Your office sounds so wonderful, would love to see photos! Environment makes such a different in our thought process and how productive we are, not to mention getting to wear comfy clothes to the office! I love that you’ve been able to have breakfast dates with your husband each week too, sweet time shared. I am a morning person too, and it’s nice to get things done before the rest of the world starts moving.
I’m sure Kristi can attest to the fact that having extra time to do the home repairs and decluttering now will be a blessing when the time for a move eventually comes, my daughter is getting ready to put her home in Nashville on the market and the things to do list is challenging!
I’ve never experienced a New England Fall, it’s still on my bucket list, but for all the gorgeous photos and videos I’ve seen, I know you will love having one more year of it to savor. That’s true of all the amazing critters that inhabit those parts too! Can I trade you two coyotes for a deer? Though I have to admit the sound of them howling in the night is pretty cool, and roadrunners scooting across the yard are just plain cute!
Thank you so much for sharing this message of living in the moment and accepting life as it comes. I’ll be eager to hear what the future holds for your family, in the mean time enjoy a beautiful summer! XOXO
Very excellent application of the TToT 'hop.
The deliberate effort to perceive the positive (when the negative is shouting in your ear, is beneficial and (to me) rather impressive. The simple notion that positive can co-exist with the negative is probably the most powerful tool any of us have, if we only start. Very cool.
Pity parties and temper tantrums have their place. Still, all your positives involving your children make this list as sweet as it is. Comfy clothes and breakfast dates are good too. So are New England autumns and time differences are just strange things I've found. Timing truly is everything though, in the end.
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