No and yes: senior year

I've half-dreaded this school year since my twins were born. I know from experience that senior year can be stressful with one child.
But trying to guide two kids through the college application process?

There is not enough chocolate in the world to cope with the stress, thought I. Thank goodness it's a long way off.

And then I blinked, and here we are.

But I was listening to The Simple Show a couple of weeks ago, and thought I would apply the No and Yes format to this situation.

So, here are the things I say No to about the twins' senior year of high school:

Aggrandizing decisions

Where they go to school is important, but it is not The Big Decision of their lives. There is no One Right School that will magically give them a wonderful life that will be forever out of their reach if they go somewhere else.

Letting the college search overshadow life

This is not only the year they apply to college, it is also their last year living at home. I want to enjoy it, and that means spending a lot of time talking about Anything But College.

Ignoring Kid4 or my husband

Family life needs balance, and that can't happen if I become obsessed or overly stressed about the college search.

Hiding

To somewhat counter everything above, the college application process does need to happen, and that means I need to stay engaged. Retreating to my room with a book, chocolate, and wine is not an approach that works long-term, although I fully expect I'll employ it at least once or twice.

And here are the things I say Yes to about the twins' senior year of high school:

Scheduled check-ins

My kids loathe it when parents bring up stressful subjects without warning. Parent says something, kid reacts out of stress, parent reacts to the kid's stressed reaction, and so forth until everyone is stressed and angry.

In an attempt to head those exchanges off before they happen, I have declared Sundays at 1 PM our Hot Chocolate College Chats. One hour to focus on the college application process. If something occurs to me during the week, I am going to write it down and bring it up on Sunday.

Automated nagging

We already have a family Google calendar, and I fully intend to use it for all college-admissions-related reminders. Let technology be the bad guy instead of me.

Being involved

I want to be involved in this to the extent the kids will let me. Right now that mostly looks like facilitating college visits and helping with internet searches, but I expect I'll be reading essays before long.

Enjoying our time together

I want to sink into this year and relish every moment of connection and joy.