The net net is, I need to decouple from the jargon

My employer (who, please note, is staying nameless on my blog) is notorious for its use of jargon and acronyms. If there were an award for this sort of thing, the military might beat us, but it would be a close race.

When I first joined the company, there was one coworker in particular whom I literally could not understand because her speech was so infused with company jargon and acronyms. Two years later, I fear I have become the person new employees can't understand.

Lately, I've caught myself using leverage, impact, and circle back. I've even gone so far as to tell Michael that he is just going to have to learn what a GA is, because I'm not going to stop saying it. ("Just call it a release!" he says.)

So you know the jargon is bad when I still notice it.

The two terms that drove me crazy this week:

Decoupled--if you are talking about train cars, go ahead and use decoupled. But two software suites that were going to be released on the same day and now are going to be released on different dates have not been decoupled. The release dates have been separated or split. (To keep the blog honest, I should tell you that I am pretty sure I said, "They are considering decoupling the releases" in a meeting this week. This is what makes jargon so insidious. Even when it makes your brain shudder, it comes out of your mouth anyway.)

Net net--this one drives me even crazier than decoupled, and it seems to be all the rage among product management these days. What is wrong with the bottom line? Or the point? Or the takeaway? At least I understand where those terms came from.

If you hear me say "the net net is" just shoot me. Please.