Wednesday, July 16, 2008

To the Writers of the Assembly Instructions for my New Desk

I offer up these thoughts on your instructions in the hope that they will help you improve the product for the next customer.
  1. Providing a parts list is a great help. However, you might want to work with the person who packages the parts to ensure consistency. It would be much easier to verify that I do, in fact, have 26 10MM Euro screws if they were all in one parts package, instead of mixed in with other parts in three packages. If they need to be mixed up, perhaps you could just document the contents of each package, and allow me to verify them a package at a time.
  2. While we're on the subject of part numbers, Cs and Gs look awfully similar when stamped onto the rough edge of particle board. And you had so many of them. C, C-1, C-2, C-3, C-4 and G, G-1, G-2, G-3, GG, and GG-3. And yet whole letters of the alphabet weren't used at all. It occurred to me that you might be trying to indicate something about the part by the letter used for it, but I couldn't find the pattern.
  3. Thank you, thank you, for naming part 60 the "eccentric receptacle." I chuckled every time I saw it, and frankly, I needed a laugh or two during this process.
  4. Now on to the actual assembly. Those drawings in step 1 make it really tough to tell which is the right drawer slider and which is the left. Since actually inserting the drawer into place doesn't come until step 27, I had a lot of time to wonder if I'd guessed correctly.
  5. About step 2. Let me guess. When you did the test assembly to write the instructions, you were working in a warehouse or an empty conference room or something, right? So it made sense to spread 15 pieces out on the floor and insert all 50 15x12 MM Cam Klix at once. You probably didn't think about the fact that most of us are assembling these desks in too small living rooms, in the little bit of space not taken up by the TV, the couch, the toys, and the Golden Retriever. There's really no need to work with that many pieces at once. What you should have done (and what I did) is to have us assemble the frame of the desk first, then the hutch, then the drawers and doors. It saves a lot of space.
  6. Following my advice in number 5 will also help you break up the instructions. I don't know how long it took you to assemble the desk, but it took me 3.5 hours last night, and another 3 this afternoon. If I hadn't broken it up, I would have been up all night, unable to go to bed because everything was spread out all over the living room. I live with a toddler. Anything not battened down will go missing. As it was, I was able to get the desk frame completed last night, and stack all the remaining pieces on top of it until nap time.
  7. It is physically impossible to attach F-2 to both B and H. I dare you.

That said, the desk is up and not wobbling. I think all will be well.

6 comments:

WendyandGabe said...

I hope you really do send this letter in. It made me chuckle!

Anonymous said...

That is hilarious! You did a great job in this piece of writing.

OR Mom

PixelFish said...

The tech writer's revenge!

Michael Carr - Veritas Literary said...

I don't think I would want to work as a technical writer underneath you.

But I do think you spent more time and effort writing this post than the technical writers did on the instructions for your desk.

(It looks nice though.)

Jessica said...

Good heavens! Glad it's together -- hope it was worth it!

PixelFish said...

John laughed about the "eccentric receptacle" too. :)