Ten Things I Learned from my Dad

1. Reading is fun. Novels can move people. Challenging books are worth the effort.
   
   Some of my earliest memories involve seeing my dad read and finding his books lying open around the house. I remember him talking about Sacajawea when he was reading a novelized account of her life. And he was the reason I kept trying to read The Hobbit until I finally got mature enough to be caught up in the magic.
   
2.  Adults can have hobbies too.
   
   Dad introduced me to photography, Russian embroidery, goat raising, gardening, solar energy, and fly tying, among others.
   
3. Technology is not scary.
   
   When I was eight and nine, Dad would bring home a computer from school during Christmas break and summer vacation. He pulled up a chair beside his and my sister and I took turns reading lines of code out loud while Dad typed them in. If we did it correctly, we ended up with a working version of Brick Out we could enjoy for the rest of the vacation.
   
4. Conversely, you can walk away from technology.
   
   When I was five, my parents got rid of our TV. They didn't get one again until I was a parent. As I work to find the right balance of technology in my life and the lives of my kids, I am so grateful for this example that just getting rid of it is always an option.
   
5. Appreciate the irony in life.
   
   Dad's wry sense of humor and love of irony prepared me well for working in the software industry. I don't think I could cope without them, and I definitely wouldn't relate as well to my coworkers.
   
6. The earth is important.
   
   I loved to go down to the recycling center that Dad ran with his junior high students and "help" sort bottles. (I think I was five or six, so I'm not sure how much help I was.) I remember the period when Dad biked to work. When I was ten we moved to an earth-sheltered home with passive solar heating. Although I constantly fall short of doing as much as I should, Dad provided me with a great example.
   
7. When faced with a problem, ask questions.
   
   When I got stuck on a math problem, I'd climb the stairs to the loft, perch on a stool, and ask Dad for help. (Now that I'm the parent in these situations, I have new appreciation for just how rusty algebra or trig can get, twenty years later.) Dad taught me to take a deep breath and start asking questions. What do you know? What do you need to know? How can you find out? Almost always, the answer came.
   
   Not only do I use this approach when the kids come to me with their math homework, some of my best moments at work start when I ask, What do I know? What do I need to know? How can I find out?
   
8. Great parents have high expectations but low pressure.
   
   I'll admit it. I'm still working on this. I think my kids would tell you I have a long way to go. As a kid, the worst discipline was to be sent to talk to Dad. Not because he would yell at me or berate me, but because I would have to look him in the eye and see his disappointment. However, even at those times, I knew that my Dad thought I was great and nothing I did or didn't do would change that. He had complete faith that whatever it was I had done wrong, it was a temporary glitch.
   
9. It's not a failure if you learned something.
   
   Dad's standard response to a bad test grade or a project that didn't work out was, "Did you learn something? Well then."
   
10. It's cool to be smart.
    
    Dad was one of the teachers for the Talented and Gifted program in his school. From his stories about students he admired, I internalized that smart, curious kids were cool. I still consider "getting to spend the day with smart people" one of the best things about my job.

Happy Father's Day, Dad!